Confessions

Over the summer I spoke about the "Truth".  Discovering something that I did not know nor do I think I wanted to know.  Over the last 6 months I have realized I am just guilty of not being totally honest in this situation.  Because of fear, I never felt I could be honest.  Fear of the fall out that the truth could produce. The truth is... my fantasy realm was a safe place to escape to.... reality could somehow ruin it all.  I had carefully constructed a secret place in my mind, my heart and my soul.  I think I never really wanted anyone to know about my secret place....not even you.   But I realize  I only constructed this place out of the fear of truth...fear of living.... So recently I chose to live despite of or should I say because of the fear.  I am tired of living in fear. The truth may hurt for a moment but not saying what I needed to say has weighed on me for decades.  Freedom from fear may just be worth the pain.