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So much has happened since my trip to California.  The conference was excellent and taught me so much about myself and life.  Living in fear is a life not worth living.  Many of the conference attendees have gone through the transformation I am experiencing.  Some I met want to but are afraid.   So I resigned my job, have really no idea what I will do, but it somehow all feels right.  Somewhere in my life I forgot to figure out who I truly am as a human being...not a daughter, women, mother, wife, director,  etc.  Who am I??????  What makes me happy?  What is happy?  So 7 months after the conference and 4 months since being gainfully unemployed, I am working on answering those questions.  I have discovered a few things.... happiness for me was finally being true to myself and walking away from a job that no longer brought me joy.  Money like they say does not ensure happiness.  Power does not ensure happiness....well at least not for me.  The constant conflicts I was faced with as part of my employment really took a lot out of me emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  I believed I was employed to help people make a positive difference in their lives.  The politics associated with my program and position had me questioning my ability to live up to my mission, my goal of serving my clients.  I wont go into it here but many of you will understand that policies and procedures are great guidelines but when you are dealing with peoples lives those P&P's can cause more harm then good.  Lets just say it was a personal conflict of interest that was slowing eating away at my conscience.  So the position, power and money to me was truly not worth selling my soul to the establishment.   Since my resignation, I have discovered many talents I did not know I possessed.  I started making jewelry, sculpting, writing and drawing.  I think there is a frustrated artist trying to emerge. I have been spending a lot of time working in and enjoying my garden.  I am even doing some bird watching.  For the first time since I remodeled my house over 10 years ago....I am enjoying the house as well.  I finally discovered the beauty of my sun porch.  I have read several books and I am working on one of my own.  I have realized there is nothing on television and wonder why I pay for cable.  I am going on a spiritual retreat in July and I am taking Reiki classes this month.  I don't mind food shopping anymore and of course I am still cooking and coming up with new recipes.  I am also on the mission to figure out who I truly am as a person.  What are my beliefs, my desires, my values....not the ones I was taught but the ones that are right for me.  The journey in my eyes has just begun...its like I was just born and I am discovering the world not through the eyes of others(parents, teachers, family members, friends etc) but with my own.  I have realized that this will be a process and will continue for the rest of my life.  I look forward to the journey!